Saint Thomas Crystal Symphony

February 8, 2008, aboard the Crystal Symphony, in Port - Saint Thomas / United States Virgin Islands.

Today, our last port before arrival back into the continental US, port of Miami. We did the US customs and immigration inspection here aboard the ship before we were allowed to get off the ship here in Saint Thomas. The entire process aboard these vessels is now computerized. As you leave they scan your ID card (received instantly complete with photo as you boarded) and the machine makes a beep noise. When you return the scan makes a Bloop noise – different noises indicate whether you are arriving or departing.

When we took our first cruise in the early nineties, as you got off the ship a security officer would stand there with a roster of the names of all guests aboard they would manually keep track of who got off and on. This inevitably led to booming announcements from all the ships loudspeakers and piped into every stateroom before the ship left port: “would Mr. and Mrs. Hymie Schmedlap please report your presence aboard the ship or if you are NOT aboard the ship - we’re leaving without you”.

Later on you would meet the Schmedlaps. They were usually one of two stereotypical couples. Either newlyweds, who just were so caught up in their love of one another that they didn’t notice the time until they heard the ships fog horn sounding as it approached the horizon, OR (more frequently) that couple who is oblivious to everything around them due to senility – “What time is it, Myrtle?”
“What am I, a CLOCK? I told you a THOUSAND TIMES to ALWAYS bring YOUR watch! Oy Vay!”

A couple of years ago we were on a cruise to the Hawaiian islands. As we left Kauai, the ship was actually turning in the harbor to begin it’s sail out, when we saw a taxi scream up to the pier and skid to a halt (we were now 200 yards away and picking up steam). Everyone likes to watch the sail off, it’s one of the most interesting things aboard a ship- entering or leaving a new port. If there are other ships you scream and yell and wave and take pictures of the other ship’s passengers who are all screaming and yelling and taking pictures of YOU. Out of this Taxi pops two of the Newlyweds I described above, hollering and waving their arms. This would have been particularly disastrous for them, as our next stop was Los Angeles and there was no way for them to meet the boat at the next port other than to fly all the way back to the mainland– I thought they were going to jump in the water and swim!! There was a small boat on the pier they jumped aboard and with every passenger on the ship hanging over their balconies and off the sides of the open decks, hooting and hollering in derision, they pulled up alongside the ship and jumped aboard through a door that the ship’s crew opened down near the water. The guy seemed to be enjoying all of the attention, he was waving to everyone. The gal, on the other hand was hiding her face. Everyone cheered and applauded and ridiculed them unmercifully for the rest of the trip.

Thanks to the computerized system the entire ship was cleared within half the time allocated, you simply walked through one of the ship’s lounges. As you entered ship’s personnel scanned your ID card (I don’t remember whether it was a bleep or a bloop – perhaps another sound since we were neither boarding or disembarking), walk down the aisle of the show room and pass in pairs in front of the stage between two US immigration officials, flip open your passports and then proceed up the other aisle and out the back door again.

We began ambitiously….. wanting to hop a ferry to Saint John, the adjacent island that is a national park given by the Rockafellers to the United States. Since there are always an abundance of low income looking folks lounging about on these islands, I decided to take off any expensive jewelry in favor of the good old timex.

The timex’s battery was dead and we spent our first hour or so wandering about amidst many, many, many jewelry stores all selling watches, but not repairing them. Finally we found a shop down an alley and discovered the owner was from CARRIZO SPRINGS, TEXAS! Incredibly small world. We asked for our Texas discount. Eight dollars, no discount.

So there we were wandering the back alleys (they were very scenic back alleys) and our good luck struck again. We exited an alley to one of the back streets and found a police car in the center of the street blocking traffic. I asked what was going on and he said they were having a parade. What kind of parade? The honor role students were being honored from all the island schools, they were all sporting bright yellow shirts donated by Macdonalds, the front had the name of the school and the back, of course the Golden Arches. At the front was an ROTC squad led by a Retired Army Sergeant. I talked to him and he was in Hawaii the same time as us, Germany the same time as us, his son was born in Germany, we had a lot in common. The parade kicked off. Lots of Music and the little kids all doing reggae steps and dancing down the street. School after school preceded by banners with their school’s name. It was GREAT!

First came the elementary kids, all smiling and very happy with their achievements. We stood on the side and applauded, it was actually very moving. All of these young people being celebrated for excellent performance in school. It was interesting that the older the kids became, the more cool they desired to appear. The high schoolers were looking like they were not the least bit excited by all the to do. But amongst them you would see the cool façade slip and joy appear on someone’s face in the midst of all the kids trying to look cool.

As we were wandering around I noticed a Taxi that was immaculately clean. The taxi’s here are all built for crowds. They are pickup trucks with four or five rows of seats mounted on the back with a nice roof over the seats. These are used to transport large volumes of passengers from cruise ships to the downtown, which as you now know consists primarily of Jewelry stores. They are also used for island tours etc. I hired the guy for a couple of hours. His name was “two pedal”. “Mr. Two Pedal”. Strange name, but he was well dressed, courteous and had, it turned out, an incredible knowledge of history, botany, zoology, island-ology and good food places.

I told him at the beginning that I was only interested in photography and didn’t need a big historical tour – pointing out the tree that bluebeard the pirate leaned upon two hundred years ago (which is the typical tour). He said okay, but still talked non-stop about a number of things, some of which were totally off the wall - “here is a cashew tree, each cashew grows attached to a piece of fruit and that’s why they are so expensive”. “Papaya’s can be used to tenderize MEAT”. “Termites don’t eat houses in the islands because they are made of concrete” (stopping to demonstrate what a termite nest looks like, poking a hole in it with his hand, extracting some termites on his hand and then sticking the hand through the truck’s window under Lucy’s face to show her the termites, whereupon she freaked thinking one would drop on her). We passed a school with the kids all out playing in the schoolyard. Only a few of them were sporting the McDonalds shirts but you could tell they were the ones who had been in the parade earlier.

We proceeded to the top of the island. There is a store/bar/overlook (according to the huge signs everywhere – the ACTUAL inventor of the BANANA DAQUARI did it here – I’m so impressed). Also a sign to beware of the “attack gecko”

The overlook was incredible and the view from 1,500 foot above sea level on the mountain top was of Megan’s Bay and numerous outlying and adjacent other islands. We received a fifteen minute dissertation about the house (which we could see from here) where Bill Clinton stayed and what fish he ate while here. The locals have different nickames for fish. One is the grandma fish, one is the wife fish and the one Clinton ate was the “bitch fish”. The view was amazing.

While traveling the very steep winding road to the top, driving on the left (the island was once British) we came across an iguana on the road that was nearly as big as a crocodile. We also learned that every house on the island has a water collection “cistern” below each building. All the rain water that lands on roofs is collected through pipes attached to gutters, sent below the house and used by the occupants. There are no city water pipes anywhere on the island. If a family runs out of water they have to bring it up on huge trucks and at great expense. No one on a mountainside may build a house greater than two stories as it might obstruct the view of the house above them. Very neighborly.

After the island tour, I asked Mr. Two Pedal to take us to a restaurant for lunch which he could recommend. He told me about his Cousin’s which sold local food. So off we went down the mountain to what I thought was his Cousin’s. Turned out the restaurant was called Cousin’s and had all kinds of culinary awards hanging on the walls and was fairly busy. We had some island food, I had curried shrimp and Lucy had the seafood platter along with some kind of rum mixed beverage that lightened her mood considerably. Conch fritters (they’re like hushpuppies with the meat of a Conch inside). I find this particularly interesting because everywhere I’ve gone scuba diving or snorkeling they are harping about protecting the Conch as it is now endangered due to the collecting of those beautiful shells.. I don’t think shell collectors are doing it. I am now convinced that Conch Chowder, Conch Fritters, Fried Conch etc. are being consumed in records numbers. So we decided to do our part and we didn’t eat ALL of the conchs on our plate.
Back to the ship. Had a great day and the food was wonderful. This evening we sat on our balcony, drinking the drink of the day “the cablecar”, and sailed off into the sunset. Next stop Florida.