February 8, 2008, aboard the Crystal Symphony, in Port - Saint Thomas / United States Virgin Islands.
Today, our last port before arrival back into the continental US, port of Miami. We did the US customs and immigration inspection here aboard the ship before we were allowed to get off the ship here in Saint Thomas. The entire process aboard these vessels is now computerized. As you leave they scan your ID card (received instantly complete with photo as you boarded) and the machine makes a beep noise. When you return the scan makes a Bloop noise – different noises indicate whether you are arriving or departing.
When we took our first cruise in the early nineties, as you got off the ship a security officer would stand there with a roster of the names of all guests aboard they would manually keep track of who got off and on. This inevitably led to booming announcements from all the ships loudspeakers and piped into every stateroom before the ship left port: “would Mr. and Mrs. Hymie Schmedlap please report your presence aboard the ship or if you are NOT aboard the ship - we’re leaving without you”.
Later on you would meet the Schmedlaps. They were usually one of two stereotypical couples. Either newlyweds, who just were so caught up in their love of one another that they didn’t notice the time until they heard the ships fog horn sounding as it approached the horizon, OR (more frequently) that couple who is oblivious to everything around them due to senility – “What time is it, Myrtle?”
“What am I, a CLOCK? I told you a THOUSAND TIMES to ALWAYS bring YOUR watch! Oy Vay!”
A couple of years ago we were on a cruise to the Hawaiian islands. As we left Kauai, the ship was actually turning in the harbor to begin it’s sail out, when we saw a taxi scream up to the pier and skid to a halt (we were now 200 yards away and picking up steam). Everyone likes to watch the sail off, it’s one of the most interesting things aboard a ship- entering or leaving a new port. If there are other ships you scream and yell and wave and take pictures of the other ship’s passengers who are all screaming and yelling and taking pictures of YOU. Out of this Taxi pops two of the Newlyweds I described above, hollering and waving their arms. This would have been particularly disastrous for them, as our next stop was Los Angeles and there was no way for them to meet the boat at the next port other than to fly all the way back to the mainland– I thought they were going to jump in the water and swim!! There was a small boat on the pier they jumped aboard and with every passenger on the ship hanging over their balconies and off the sides of the open decks, hooting and hollering in derision, they pulled up alongside the ship and jumped aboard through a door that the ship’s crew opened down near the water. The guy seemed to be enjoying all of the attention, he was waving to everyone. The gal, on the other hand was hiding her face. Everyone cheered and applauded and ridiculed them unmercifully for the rest of the trip.
Thanks to the computerized system the entire ship was cleared within half the time allocated, you simply walked through one of the ship’s lounges. As you entered ship’s personnel scanned your ID card (I don’t remember whether it was a bleep or a bloop – perhaps another sound since we were neither boarding or disembarking), walk down the aisle of the show room and pass in pairs in front of the stage between two US immigration officials, flip open your passports and then proceed up the other aisle and out the back door again.
We began ambitiously….. wanting to hop a ferry to Saint John, the adjacent island that is a national park given by the Rockafellers to the United States. Since there are always an abundance of low income looking folks lounging about on these islands, I decided to take off any expensive jewelry in favor of the good old timex.
The timex’s battery was dead and we spent our first hour or so wandering about amidst many, many, many jewelry stores all selling watches, but not repairing them. Finally we found a shop down an alley and discovered the owner was from CARRIZO SPRINGS, TEXAS! Incredibly small world. We asked for our Texas discount. Eight dollars, no discount.
So there we were wandering the back alleys (they were very scenic back alleys) and our good luck struck again. We exited an alley to one of the back streets and found a police car in the center of the street blocking traffic. I asked what was going on and he said they were having a parade. What kind of parade? The honor role students were being honored from all the island schools, they were all sporting bright yellow shirts donated by Macdonalds, the front had the name of the school and the back, of course the Golden Arches. At the front was an ROTC squad led by a Retired Army Sergeant. I talked to him and he was in Hawaii the same time as us, Germany the same time as us, his son was born in Germany, we had a lot in common. The parade kicked off. Lots of Music and the little kids all doing reggae steps and dancing down the street. School after school preceded by banners with their school’s name. It was GREAT!
First came the elementary kids, all smiling and very happy with their achievements. We stood on the side and applauded, it was actually very moving. All of these young people being celebrated for excellent performance in school. It was interesting that the older the kids became, the more cool they desired to appear. The high schoolers were looking like they were not the least bit excited by all the to do. But amongst them you would see the cool façade slip and joy appear on someone’s face in the midst of all the kids trying to look cool.
As we were wandering around I noticed a Taxi that was immaculately clean. The taxi’s here are all built for crowds. They are pickup trucks with four or five rows of seats mounted on the back with a nice roof over the seats. These are used to transport large volumes of passengers from cruise ships to the downtown, which as you now know consists primarily of Jewelry stores. They are also used for island tours etc. I hired the guy for a couple of hours. His name was “two pedal”. “Mr. Two Pedal”. Strange name, but he was well dressed, courteous and had, it turned out, an incredible knowledge of history, botany, zoology, island-ology and good food places.
I told him at the beginning that I was only interested in photography and didn’t need a big historical tour – pointing out the tree that bluebeard the pirate leaned upon two hundred years ago (which is the typical tour). He said okay, but still talked non-stop about a number of things, some of which were totally off the wall - “here is a cashew tree, each cashew grows attached to a piece of fruit and that’s why they are so expensive”. “Papaya’s can be used to tenderize MEAT”. “Termites don’t eat houses in the islands because they are made of concrete” (stopping to demonstrate what a termite nest looks like, poking a hole in it with his hand, extracting some termites on his hand and then sticking the hand through the truck’s window under Lucy’s face to show her the termites, whereupon she freaked thinking one would drop on her). We passed a school with the kids all out playing in the schoolyard. Only a few of them were sporting the McDonalds shirts but you could tell they were the ones who had been in the parade earlier.
We proceeded to the top of the island. There is a store/bar/overlook (according to the huge signs everywhere – the ACTUAL inventor of the BANANA DAQUARI did it here – I’m so impressed). Also a sign to beware of the “attack gecko”
The overlook was incredible and the view from 1,500 foot above sea level on the mountain top was of Megan’s Bay and numerous outlying and adjacent other islands. We received a fifteen minute dissertation about the house (which we could see from here) where Bill Clinton stayed and what fish he ate while here. The locals have different nickames for fish. One is the grandma fish, one is the wife fish and the one Clinton ate was the “bitch fish”. The view was amazing.
While traveling the very steep winding road to the top, driving on the left (the island was once British) we came across an iguana on the road that was nearly as big as a crocodile. We also learned that every house on the island has a water collection “cistern” below each building. All the rain water that lands on roofs is collected through pipes attached to gutters, sent below the house and used by the occupants. There are no city water pipes anywhere on the island. If a family runs out of water they have to bring it up on huge trucks and at great expense. No one on a mountainside may build a house greater than two stories as it might obstruct the view of the house above them. Very neighborly.
After the island tour, I asked Mr. Two Pedal to take us to a restaurant for lunch which he could recommend. He told me about his Cousin’s which sold local food. So off we went down the mountain to what I thought was his Cousin’s. Turned out the restaurant was called Cousin’s and had all kinds of culinary awards hanging on the walls and was fairly busy. We had some island food, I had curried shrimp and Lucy had the seafood platter along with some kind of rum mixed beverage that lightened her mood considerably. Conch fritters (they’re like hushpuppies with the meat of a Conch inside). I find this particularly interesting because everywhere I’ve gone scuba diving or snorkeling they are harping about protecting the Conch as it is now endangered due to the collecting of those beautiful shells.. I don’t think shell collectors are doing it. I am now convinced that Conch Chowder, Conch Fritters, Fried Conch etc. are being consumed in records numbers. So we decided to do our part and we didn’t eat ALL of the conchs on our plate.
Back to the ship. Had a great day and the food was wonderful. This evening we sat on our balcony, drinking the drink of the day “the cablecar”, and sailed off into the sunset. Next stop Florida.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Saint Martin Crystal Symphony
9 am February 7, 2008, aboard the Crystal Symphony, in Port - Saint Maarten / Saint Martin – the lesser Antilles.
This island lies in the vague border between the Atlantic Ocean and the Caribbean sea. Has two different languages and is divided between two nations half Dutch and Half French.


Lenny and Brandi may remember this as the island with European bathing habits on the French side. We went there before little Lenny was old enough to want to pluck out his eyes from viewing those who should NEVER be without bathing suits from parading up and down the beach au naturale.
We definitely couldn’t take kids there now that they’re older. Of course I was exposed to this type of immodesty growing up in Miami. No one actually dropped their bikinis or speedos and paraded up and down the beach leaving a trail of blinded bathers in their wake (back then they would have been arrested). However, we did have the hugely overweight, retired Jewish folk in their tiny speedos – nearly as bad. I still joke about it to this day, but I was severely scarred as a child – blinded on numerous occasions.
Now I’M THE GUY IN THE SPEEDO! Something about age lends itself to not caring what other’s think any longer. That’s why Lucy is here with me to yank my chain when I begin offending large groups of people en masse. I really don’t think she’ll EVER be old enough to not care what other people think. It’s usually my gay or ethnic comments that set her (and Rita) off. Of course, I’m only joking but political correctness is paramount. I say HUMOR over PC… let’s chant.
I recall the beautiful market they had on the French side with spices and skilled artwork.
Our sole trip off the ship today was to do a little shopping. We picked up a “little” something for Rita, since she hasn’t been to any of these places with us when the New Marino’s came along previously (Twice). We actually have not done much souvenir shopping this trip. It is hard to buy souvenirs, of course, when you don’t get off the ship.

The water is so clear and blue here
This island lies in the vague border between the Atlantic Ocean and the Caribbean sea. Has two different languages and is divided between two nations half Dutch and Half French.


Lenny and Brandi may remember this as the island with European bathing habits on the French side. We went there before little Lenny was old enough to want to pluck out his eyes from viewing those who should NEVER be without bathing suits from parading up and down the beach au naturale.
We definitely couldn’t take kids there now that they’re older. Of course I was exposed to this type of immodesty growing up in Miami. No one actually dropped their bikinis or speedos and paraded up and down the beach leaving a trail of blinded bathers in their wake (back then they would have been arrested). However, we did have the hugely overweight, retired Jewish folk in their tiny speedos – nearly as bad. I still joke about it to this day, but I was severely scarred as a child – blinded on numerous occasions.
Now I’M THE GUY IN THE SPEEDO! Something about age lends itself to not caring what other’s think any longer. That’s why Lucy is here with me to yank my chain when I begin offending large groups of people en masse. I really don’t think she’ll EVER be old enough to not care what other people think. It’s usually my gay or ethnic comments that set her (and Rita) off. Of course, I’m only joking but political correctness is paramount. I say HUMOR over PC… let’s chant.
I recall the beautiful market they had on the French side with spices and skilled artwork.
Our sole trip off the ship today was to do a little shopping. We picked up a “little” something for Rita, since she hasn’t been to any of these places with us when the New Marino’s came along previously (Twice). We actually have not done much souvenir shopping this trip. It is hard to buy souvenirs, of course, when you don’t get off the ship.

The water is so clear and blue here
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Aruba
8 am February 4, 2008, aboard the Crystal Symphony, In port Aruba, Netherland Antilles.

Yesterday was Superbowl Sunday. They showed the game at several venues on the ship including on the TV in each cabin. They weren’t sure until the last moment if they would be able to get it, they had to purchase satellite time. The best venue was in one of the ship’s night club lounges, they had an excellent projection TV set up on the dance floor and the room is designed surrounding the stage and dance floor like a fan. I went down to secure a front row seat about an hour prior and was successful. The superbowl party served popcorn, hot dogs and beer (along with a bar for mixed beverages) to an audience of about 300 who were dressed in suits or sports coats and ties and cocktail dresses “informal ware” – the theme of the evening (obviously whoever decided upon that dress code for the evening is not an american). I’ve never seen a superbowl party where everyone had on a suit and tie. The audience seemed to be slanted towards the patriots, but Lucy and I cheered for the giants favoring the underdog. It’s not the Cowboys, but I think if we had played new England we would have lost.
This island is located just off the northern coast of south America (15 miles) and is now famous for the disappearance of an american young woman Natalie Halloway. We’re not getting off the ship, we have been to every island in the Caribbean and they all look alike. (post script) we changed our mind and got off, went to the nearby front street and had a couple of drinks (Lucy a guava berry colada - she staggered back to the ship-joking) and a plate of escargot for me and Conch Fritters for Lucy - truly excellent.


What we are doing is taking two naps a day, eating too much, drinking too much and reading our books without an agenda of things we have to do like the laundry or work related stuff! Nothing like phone charges of over $5 a minute to keep you from idle chatting on your cell phone. Actually I’ve seen a few people aboard who have their cell phone glued to their ear and are chatting inanely at those absurd rates. Must be nice to be filthy rich.
1400 hrs February 4, 2008, In port Antigua, British Virgin Islands.

Yesterday was a day at sea as we sailed to our next port. It was a little rough but not seasick producing. They were having the “crystal buffet”. Typically, every time we take a cruise the chef staff is allowed to produce an extravaganza food set up. Mostly it’s evening or even (on some lines) Midnight buffet. You have to stay up WAY past bedtime to see it or, God forbid, eat it and then try to sleep. Here they put the event on at Lunch. They laid out a HUGE spread on the main deck in the Atrium.
I’ve never seen it done that way. The Atrium is the center of the ship where the desk is located and is surrounded by two levels of shops, lounges and on one end the entrance to the dining room. One of the advantages of this level is that it is dead center of the ship and nearly at sea level, you can see that you are just above the waves out of the windows. This has the added effect of minimizing movement. Anyone who has sailed more than once realizes that the further you are from the center and the higher up you are on the ship, the more movement you feel.
A few years ago when we were on the Zuiderdam with the new Marinos, we had two adjoining suites on the aft of the ship, with our balconies wrapping around the back of the ship. There were two disadvantages to that spot (but many good things, as well). First anyone deciding to flip a cigarette off the edge of the pool deck above us, landed on our deck. Secondly every time the ship breached a particularly big wave, the front dipped and the rear rose as we passed over it. Once or twice I thought I was going to be launched into the ocean like an acrobat on a spring board.
So midships is the middle, or the fulcrum where the teeter totter is balanced and moves little.
All of the food was prepared artistically, with huge ice sculptures, decorations made out of bread and deserts, and of course seafood arranged in an artistic way. Some of the food on this ship has been so beautiful, you hate to stick a fork in it. They had chicken, prime rib, ham many types of meats but more deserts than the mind can fathom (which made Lucy happy, she’d rather eat desert than main course).

They set everything up and allowed fifteen minutes for anyone who wished to photograph the displays before the ravenous mobs descended. So I was photographing everything in my Army reconnaissance mode. Where EXACTLY is the EXPENSIVE food located _ spotted the lobster table, found the prime rib location and was ready to attack.
Unfortunately, as the moment of truth approached, zero-hour so to speak, when everyone would be allowed to commence eating – Lucy was AWOL. She had parked herself in an adjacent lounge in order to not have to follow me and my camera around through the throng of onlookers.
They happened to be playing BINGO in that lounge so she purchased a bingo COMPUTER – what a kick these things are. It’s a hand held computer that you pay for a billion bingo cards and the computer keeps track for you of all of the cards simultaneously. You don’t even have to enter the number. After each number is called, it connects wirelessly to the bingo caller and it shows you on how many cards that number appeared. It has a visual of the card that is the closes to winning that you can look at. And if you win, it flashes BINGO in large letters and you can jump to your feet and speak up thereby winning the game effortlessly.
Well there was lucy still playing bingo while I was frothing at the mouth with hunger from photographing all of this incredible food. I was sure that the mob would take all of the good stuff before we got there, but I couldn’t make her leave before the game was over. I resigned myself to it, sat down and waited patiently. The very next game, her machine flashed BINGO and she won $96. We ambled out of the lounge to the buffet and almost everything was still there to be had. So all in all it turned out great. The food was as tasty as it was beautiful.
After eating, we walked to the casino to trade in her voucher for the cash. She gave me $20 and took the rest to play slot machines. I need immediate gambling gratification, so I took the twenty bet it on red at the roulette table and promptly lost. Discouraged, I went up to the cabin to read. Four hours later, I began to wonder about Lucy so I went in search of her. After looking unsuccessfully in several places I found her still in the casino. She is addicted to the sights and sounds of slot machines. She had taken the intelligent road, however, and had began playing the “Penny” slot machines. A big win pays out a wopping 25 cents. After ridiculing her and letting her know that if she was discovered playing penny slots, they would never let her into the Bellagio again. Anyway, when I got there she was still doing fine (had thousands of pennys left- sounds like a lot doesn’t it). Later she came in having parlayed her remaining $76 (seven thousand six hundred pennies) to a grand total of one (she had a voucher for that).
I finished my book. It was by a Pulitzer prize winning author. I’m going to send it to Rita. She and Lucy are constantly trading book recommendations. This one is NOT science fiction, which Lucy is now hooked upon to the exclusion of all other reading material. Hopefully, my science based daughter will enjoy a novel about scientific discovery with a basis in fact. It was fantastic, despite a rather slow beginning.
Today we’re in Antigua (not pronounced An Teeg WAH but Anteegah). We got off for about twenty minutes, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, no coke, pepsi. (there WILL be a prize for anyone who can identify all of these obscure references – email me the answers to be entered into the drawing, in the case of ties – I keep the prize). You know, that sounds like an IDEA. Okay, Johnny will definitely know the monte python “therefore a witch” comment. C’mon Bro in Law. Send me an email and let’s see if you can win the prize. Tell me the specifics.
While here we took a stroll down “Friendly Street” which was populated with shady looking characters looking for someone to mug. I was in search of Fibre for my diet. One day you Bowkers and Marino’s will appreciate the maladies of the old. I decided to gnaw on a coconut husk.
There are four cruise ships here all “parked” right next to each other. I’m sitting here on my balcony on the port side of the ship (yes!! The Red wine side), and looking directly across at the ship next to us. Fifty feet or less. It’s an itialian ship filled with German tourists. I can throw a cow pie and hit the commodore on the bridge from here. YEAH, THAT RIGHT MIEN HERR!!!, WE’RE TEXANS! The cowpie comes from a ship sporting the UT flag (another cow rendition – OKAY, a longhorn – still a cow). Hell, Europeans all think we’re cowboys anyway (that’s right, watch your step or we’ll BOMB you too).
I can smell the lack of deodorant emanating from the Germans from here (no…….. wait, that’s my feet from walking around town – just joking).
The other two ships are carnival lines. So we have a study in class contrasts. Our ship disgorged all elderly, well heeled octogenarians and a few sixty somethings who are careless with their money. The German ship disgorged European looking mobs (they look more like Americans every year), carnival turned loose a youthful good looking bunch of kids who couldn’t afford to travel on a better ship, but don’t really care because they’ve been dancing, getting drunk and climbing the shipboard rock wall without sleep for several days.
okay, enough rambling today except to tell you about Sidney. There is one couple aboard who are Asian American, look to be in their early thirties. She’s pregnant, he looks like a Japanese superhero complete with highlighted hair. They have a three year old who roams freely around the ship wearing flip flops that squeak when she walks. She has her hair done up with a pony tail that sticks straight up in the air ala BAM BAM (next reference for the contest). I feel for the couple, because 99% of the people aboard this ship seem to be grandparents, great gradnparents and I think I saw Methusalah and his wife, dancing to world war one music. Everyone wants to touch and play with that kid. Oh, well…..It takes a village (quote Bill Clinton) and MacDonalds hamburgers (for Bill’s diet) . If Hillary get’s elected, I hope they make Bill secretary of state. They LOVE that guy everywhere except in the United States.

Yesterday was Superbowl Sunday. They showed the game at several venues on the ship including on the TV in each cabin. They weren’t sure until the last moment if they would be able to get it, they had to purchase satellite time. The best venue was in one of the ship’s night club lounges, they had an excellent projection TV set up on the dance floor and the room is designed surrounding the stage and dance floor like a fan. I went down to secure a front row seat about an hour prior and was successful. The superbowl party served popcorn, hot dogs and beer (along with a bar for mixed beverages) to an audience of about 300 who were dressed in suits or sports coats and ties and cocktail dresses “informal ware” – the theme of the evening (obviously whoever decided upon that dress code for the evening is not an american). I’ve never seen a superbowl party where everyone had on a suit and tie. The audience seemed to be slanted towards the patriots, but Lucy and I cheered for the giants favoring the underdog. It’s not the Cowboys, but I think if we had played new England we would have lost.
This island is located just off the northern coast of south America (15 miles) and is now famous for the disappearance of an american young woman Natalie Halloway. We’re not getting off the ship, we have been to every island in the Caribbean and they all look alike. (post script) we changed our mind and got off, went to the nearby front street and had a couple of drinks (Lucy a guava berry colada - she staggered back to the ship-joking) and a plate of escargot for me and Conch Fritters for Lucy - truly excellent.


What we are doing is taking two naps a day, eating too much, drinking too much and reading our books without an agenda of things we have to do like the laundry or work related stuff! Nothing like phone charges of over $5 a minute to keep you from idle chatting on your cell phone. Actually I’ve seen a few people aboard who have their cell phone glued to their ear and are chatting inanely at those absurd rates. Must be nice to be filthy rich.
1400 hrs February 4, 2008, In port Antigua, British Virgin Islands.

Yesterday was a day at sea as we sailed to our next port. It was a little rough but not seasick producing. They were having the “crystal buffet”. Typically, every time we take a cruise the chef staff is allowed to produce an extravaganza food set up. Mostly it’s evening or even (on some lines) Midnight buffet. You have to stay up WAY past bedtime to see it or, God forbid, eat it and then try to sleep. Here they put the event on at Lunch. They laid out a HUGE spread on the main deck in the Atrium.
I’ve never seen it done that way. The Atrium is the center of the ship where the desk is located and is surrounded by two levels of shops, lounges and on one end the entrance to the dining room. One of the advantages of this level is that it is dead center of the ship and nearly at sea level, you can see that you are just above the waves out of the windows. This has the added effect of minimizing movement. Anyone who has sailed more than once realizes that the further you are from the center and the higher up you are on the ship, the more movement you feel.A few years ago when we were on the Zuiderdam with the new Marinos, we had two adjoining suites on the aft of the ship, with our balconies wrapping around the back of the ship. There were two disadvantages to that spot (but many good things, as well). First anyone deciding to flip a cigarette off the edge of the pool deck above us, landed on our deck. Secondly every time the ship breached a particularly big wave, the front dipped and the rear rose as we passed over it. Once or twice I thought I was going to be launched into the ocean like an acrobat on a spring board.
So midships is the middle, or the fulcrum where the teeter totter is balanced and moves little.
All of the food was prepared artistically, with huge ice sculptures, decorations made out of bread and deserts, and of course seafood arranged in an artistic way. Some of the food on this ship has been so beautiful, you hate to stick a fork in it. They had chicken, prime rib, ham many types of meats but more deserts than the mind can fathom (which made Lucy happy, she’d rather eat desert than main course).

They set everything up and allowed fifteen minutes for anyone who wished to photograph the displays before the ravenous mobs descended. So I was photographing everything in my Army reconnaissance mode. Where EXACTLY is the EXPENSIVE food located _ spotted the lobster table, found the prime rib location and was ready to attack.
Unfortunately, as the moment of truth approached, zero-hour so to speak, when everyone would be allowed to commence eating – Lucy was AWOL. She had parked herself in an adjacent lounge in order to not have to follow me and my camera around through the throng of onlookers.
They happened to be playing BINGO in that lounge so she purchased a bingo COMPUTER – what a kick these things are. It’s a hand held computer that you pay for a billion bingo cards and the computer keeps track for you of all of the cards simultaneously. You don’t even have to enter the number. After each number is called, it connects wirelessly to the bingo caller and it shows you on how many cards that number appeared. It has a visual of the card that is the closes to winning that you can look at. And if you win, it flashes BINGO in large letters and you can jump to your feet and speak up thereby winning the game effortlessly.
Well there was lucy still playing bingo while I was frothing at the mouth with hunger from photographing all of this incredible food. I was sure that the mob would take all of the good stuff before we got there, but I couldn’t make her leave before the game was over. I resigned myself to it, sat down and waited patiently. The very next game, her machine flashed BINGO and she won $96. We ambled out of the lounge to the buffet and almost everything was still there to be had. So all in all it turned out great. The food was as tasty as it was beautiful.

After eating, we walked to the casino to trade in her voucher for the cash. She gave me $20 and took the rest to play slot machines. I need immediate gambling gratification, so I took the twenty bet it on red at the roulette table and promptly lost. Discouraged, I went up to the cabin to read. Four hours later, I began to wonder about Lucy so I went in search of her. After looking unsuccessfully in several places I found her still in the casino. She is addicted to the sights and sounds of slot machines. She had taken the intelligent road, however, and had began playing the “Penny” slot machines. A big win pays out a wopping 25 cents. After ridiculing her and letting her know that if she was discovered playing penny slots, they would never let her into the Bellagio again. Anyway, when I got there she was still doing fine (had thousands of pennys left- sounds like a lot doesn’t it). Later she came in having parlayed her remaining $76 (seven thousand six hundred pennies) to a grand total of one (she had a voucher for that).
I finished my book. It was by a Pulitzer prize winning author. I’m going to send it to Rita. She and Lucy are constantly trading book recommendations. This one is NOT science fiction, which Lucy is now hooked upon to the exclusion of all other reading material. Hopefully, my science based daughter will enjoy a novel about scientific discovery with a basis in fact. It was fantastic, despite a rather slow beginning.
Today we’re in Antigua (not pronounced An Teeg WAH but Anteegah). We got off for about twenty minutes, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, no coke, pepsi. (there WILL be a prize for anyone who can identify all of these obscure references – email me the answers to be entered into the drawing, in the case of ties – I keep the prize). You know, that sounds like an IDEA. Okay, Johnny will definitely know the monte python “therefore a witch” comment. C’mon Bro in Law. Send me an email and let’s see if you can win the prize. Tell me the specifics.
While here we took a stroll down “Friendly Street” which was populated with shady looking characters looking for someone to mug. I was in search of Fibre for my diet. One day you Bowkers and Marino’s will appreciate the maladies of the old. I decided to gnaw on a coconut husk.
There are four cruise ships here all “parked” right next to each other. I’m sitting here on my balcony on the port side of the ship (yes!! The Red wine side), and looking directly across at the ship next to us. Fifty feet or less. It’s an itialian ship filled with German tourists. I can throw a cow pie and hit the commodore on the bridge from here. YEAH, THAT RIGHT MIEN HERR!!!, WE’RE TEXANS! The cowpie comes from a ship sporting the UT flag (another cow rendition – OKAY, a longhorn – still a cow). Hell, Europeans all think we’re cowboys anyway (that’s right, watch your step or we’ll BOMB you too).
I can smell the lack of deodorant emanating from the Germans from here (no…….. wait, that’s my feet from walking around town – just joking).
The other two ships are carnival lines. So we have a study in class contrasts. Our ship disgorged all elderly, well heeled octogenarians and a few sixty somethings who are careless with their money. The German ship disgorged European looking mobs (they look more like Americans every year), carnival turned loose a youthful good looking bunch of kids who couldn’t afford to travel on a better ship, but don’t really care because they’ve been dancing, getting drunk and climbing the shipboard rock wall without sleep for several days.
okay, enough rambling today except to tell you about Sidney. There is one couple aboard who are Asian American, look to be in their early thirties. She’s pregnant, he looks like a Japanese superhero complete with highlighted hair. They have a three year old who roams freely around the ship wearing flip flops that squeak when she walks. She has her hair done up with a pony tail that sticks straight up in the air ala BAM BAM (next reference for the contest). I feel for the couple, because 99% of the people aboard this ship seem to be grandparents, great gradnparents and I think I saw Methusalah and his wife, dancing to world war one music. Everyone wants to touch and play with that kid. Oh, well…..It takes a village (quote Bill Clinton) and MacDonalds hamburgers (for Bill’s diet) . If Hillary get’s elected, I hope they make Bill secretary of state. They LOVE that guy everywhere except in the United States.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Costa Rica and the Panama Canal
this photo has nothing to do with our trip, but kind of inspires me to be more adventurous. this is my son, Lenny, jumping out of an airplane in his first skydive. With this kind of adventurous spirit, I have been officially surpassed in my quest for life 
Day one, January 30th, 2008
I’m dragging my body out of san Antonio to places where there is no email or phone to answer and where the sunlight may cause my translucent body to become brown (or at least a shade of red). I’m getting back into shape…. Starting tomorrow!
Today is our 37th wedding anniversary. I can’t believe how quickly time passes when you’re having fun. TODAY’s fun began by getting out of bed at 4:15 to dress for our trip to Costa Rica.
Everything went smoothly and as planned. One remarkable thing. As we were approaching the airport in San Jose, Lucy looked out her window and we were flying almost directly over their volcano. No one announced it, we just saw it. We’ve seen other volcanoes around the world. Notably, Moana Loa on the big island of Hawaii, and mount Vesuvius the volcano that destroyed Pompeii and looms over the Italian city of Naples, but this was different. It is exactly like a volcano a school kid would make for his project.
It was surrounded by relatively flat land and sticks straight up like a giant anthill. The top was smoking in a thin stream. If it had exploded right then we would have been catapulted into orbit, that’s how close we were.
We arrived in San Jose, Costa Rica by early afternoon. Lucy and I were the first ones off of the plane and after passing through customs I got in line to exchange some money into local currency. There were two lines. In the line next to me was a man who had several transactions that were taking some time. Immediately behind him was an American black man, loudly complaining about how long the guy in front of him was taking. One of the things he said was - he should never have changed lines – pretty much thinking out loud to share with anyone within hearing distance. My line was growing by the minute behind me and now was moving and his was stopped. This guy was fit to be tied and everyone was studiously ignoring him, including the individual in front of him at the other window (who I think was purposely slowing down his transactions in order to passively aggravate his critic). I was next in my line when one of the tellers came back from lunch and opened a SECOND window for my line. I was next! – I could see out of the corner of my eye that he had fallen to the floor and was writing in indignant pain over the injustice of it all (of course the language was brought down to the lowest denominator so all could understand – I don’t think the tellers understood, they were Spanish speakers with rudimentary English ability - luckily).
Meanwhile, Lucy was at the luggage carrel awaiting our bags – she had garnered a donkey to carry our three large bags and was feeding it a carrot. Just joking, it was a fairly modern airport, no donkeys in sight. They did however, have some strange procedures. In order to LEAVE the airport, you had to pass all of your luggage and carried items through an XRay machine. In the US, of course, they are more concerned with those getting ON the planes, not those getting off. So we lugged our bags onto the conveyer belt and watched the Costa Rican equivalent of the TSA sitting at the monitor with his feet up eating a sandwhich looking over his shoulder and ignoring the monitor. Strange but true.
We met a phalanx of taxi drivers as we exited the front of the airport and just as we emerged a van from our hotel pulled up. Smooth as silk.
The hotel was the Marriott and beautiful. Built like a large Spanish Hacienda around a center couryard. Spanish tile everywhere, and Golf course out the window. We settled in and started to get sleepy around 6pm (having had only a few hours sleep the night before). Just as we were beginning to mellow out, a salsa band cranked up loudly in the night club on the ground floor and the music reverberated throughout the entire hotel. This would have been aggravating if they had not been so GOOD. Because of the open construction of the hotel around the center courtyard, and the total absence of carpeting and other noise dampening construction, it was as though we were sitting in the club listening first hand, the music came through crisp and muted in volume slightly by our front door, but otherwise clear. We thoroughly enjoyed it, although around 10pm we began to wonder how long they intended to play on. They stopped shortly thereafter and we had a great nights sleep. ATMOSPHERE!
Thursday January 31, 2008 (Marriott Hotel, San Jose, Costa Rica).
Cup of Tea, Cup of coffee. Okay we’re ready to go. Today we transfer to the ship, the Crystal Symphony docked at the port of Caldera, which is an hour and a half bus ride from here. Tell you how that turns out - later.
(later…..)
Things continue to go well for us (charmed life). We woke up this morning and I telephone down to the cruise rep - they had a desk in the lobby as this was the official transfer spot to the ship. They were organizing all of the passengers onto buses for the transfer. She told me that since we had not availed ourselves of the cruise’s hotel / transfer package we would leave at 1pm, the first buses left at 10 am. Before traveling, we opted to make the hotel and transfer reservations ourselves – when we contrasted the cost of allowing the cruise line to book the hotel and doing it directly ourselves with the hotel, we cut the cost in half and got a better room in the process – complete with private lounge and FREE food. Now, I discovered the downside to doing this was that we would be on the LAST bus to the ship arriving with the herd of Bermuda short clad octogenarians (look it up – if you have a mac there is a dictionary on the dock).
So I asked her if we could get on Standby for the earlier bus and what were my chances. She said, the buses are full, your chances are 90%. I said “what? 90% - language misconnect, she meant 90% that we wouldn’t get on. Reminded me of a line in the movie Dumb and Dumber. Jim carrie professes his love to the female character. She replies – “You have a one in a million chance of me ever going out with you!” To which he replied (overjoyed) “Incredible…..I have a CHANCE!”
We packed up, sent our luggage down and went down to the lobby. Large table - three ladies in uniform handing out tickets and checking people in. We went up to the table and as we were waiting I heard a couple of folks being told the same thing we had heard on the phone, sorry buses full. Step to the side for the important folks to get through.
We got to the front and suddenly we were alone, all of the others who had been in line or milling about were gone. I struck up a friendly conversation with one of the girls, told her I’d spoken to someone earlier, the girl who I spoke to was actually sitting right there. She volunteered (quietly and very conspiratorily) to see if she could find us a seat on the early bus. She got up and disappeared down the hallway. Came back with a big smile and two tickets for us on the first bus. As we were signing for the tickets I continued to hear more rejections going on around us. As I said, charmed life.
When we actually got on the bus (we were on the last of 3 leaving at 10am), it turned out it was only half full. They were just enforcing the “give us extra money for the privilege” policy.
The trip to the port of Caldera was on an air-conditioned bus. The road wound up into the mountains on a narrow two lane highway, then down the other side on an equally adventurous steep ride This thrilling trip included; passing in no passing zones, passing on curves and our tires coming within inches of deep drainage ditches on both sides of the road. We humans, however, don’t believe anything can ever happen to us (like crashing off a huge cliff and plunging, screaming like little girls, into the ravine). Nothing happened. We made it. The only remarkable thing that I experienced, (other than avoiding a gruesome death in a third world country, of course) was using the “facilities” aboard the bus. Call of nature midway on the mountain roads necessitated me being the only one on the bus to avail himself of the restroom that they had in the center of the bus. I stood up and walked to the stairs that descended down to the modern, clean restroom (think airline restroom). I couldn’t find a light switch, so I was esconsed in a pitch black room being buffeted in all directions as the bus made continuous hairpin turns. Luckily my pilot training came in handy and I didn’t fall in, fall off or get motion sickness. And to top if all off, I made it down the aisle of the bus (we were in the first seats) without landing in the lap of some little old lady – THAT was the hard part. I found out afterwards that if I had LOCKED the door, the light would have come on.
The ship is beautiful and populated with roughly only about 30% of the passengers aboard that you might find aboard a similar sized ship like on Holland America, I haven’t really seen what I would consider to be a “crowd” anywhere. We had heard the food was the best on this cruise line compared to allothers. Didn’t believe it, sounded like hype. We’ve had some pretty amazing food aboard ships in the past and to say one line is better than another ….. well, you know. We arrived around noon and the staterooms weren’t ready until after three so we had lunch (hamburgers and a steak sandwich). How good can a hamburger be? INCREDIBLE! I think they were grilling sirloin not hamburger, the steak was a REAL steak and it was melt in your mouth tender. Dinner was amazing too. They had balloons at our table for our anniversary and we ate fish for lucy and steak for me. Everything was incredible, not a single mediocre thing on the plate.
10 am February 1, 2008, aboard the Crystal Symphony, at sea abeam Central America, passing through the “golfo de Chiriqui”, position 07 degrees 45, 91N / 082 degrees 11, 26 W
Day at sea today, February first – which will allow us to explore the ship – flat sea with minimal rocking movement so the odds of getting seasick are low at the moment.
We arrive at the Panama Canal tomorrow morning at 7am, February 2nd. Lucy’s birthday AND the wedding day of our nephew Markie. We will be thinking of the newlyweds and celebrating another year of life for Lucy at the same time tomorrow.
6 am February 2, 2008, aboard the Crystal Symphony, Awaiting entry into the Panama Canal. Sitting amongst other ships awaiting the “pilot” to board the ship and guide us into the first Lock.
The meaning of life? It’s all about water pressure.
I awoke at 5am in anticipation of the alarm that I had set for six. The goal was to arrive at the air conditioned observation deck in time to garner a front row seat to view this event. I strolled into what I thought would be an empty room, and found that there were about twenty other couples already here. Only one remaining front row set of seats, which I procured, well off to the side – but still better than standing on tiptoes in the rear trying to see.
Water pressure….. Drives the panama canal AND is a pleasure in the shower. There are two places where I’m an extremely happy guy (shower-wise). Rita’s guest room - shower (Alexi’s bathroom) and the shower on this ship. Turn it on and the blast pins you to the wall. I have to figure some way to increase the water pressure at our home.
The Panama Canal is interesting – hence a major cruise ship destination. Yesterday, I watched a historical perspective on television. The engineering and construction of the canal was and is a marvel.
It began with the French who had constructed the Suez canal. They were rife with nationalism and flush with their success. They felt they could do anything at that particular time. Long story short, they gave up after ten or fifteen years of trying to dig through solid rock through an impenetrable jungle. The French left, much as they did in Vietnam. A few years later we picked up the project. Two of our physicians, Walter Reed and another approached it from a different perspective. Instead of macho forging ahead and dropping like flies due to malaria and yellow fever, the US discovered the cause of the epidemic and virtually eliminated it, allowing the work to proceed without the scary death toll. Additionally, American engineers developed a method whereby the project could be done much more efficiently.
The French wanted, like the Suez canal, to dig the Panama canal at sea level between the two coastlines. Unfortunately there are Jungle, huge mountains and raging rivers in between. At its worst they would have had to dig a trench six hundred feet deep and nearly 30 miles long into the mountains in solid rock to accomplish this. After many years, and innumerable losses due to accidents and disease, the company undertaking it for France went bankrupt.
What the American engineers did was to approach these problems with a little Yankee ingenuity. During the rainy season, the downpours were so heavy that they caused huge mud slides which would fill in the trenches that the French had dug. Whole mountainsides would collapse into the excavations on a routine basis. DeLesseps, the French engineer, compared it to digging a large whole on a sandy beach, the more you dug, the more the sand flows back into the hole.
We solved the problem of the rainy season where all of the rivers turn into torrential floods, by damming all river exits to the sea up and creating a huge lake high up in the mountains in the center of the isthmus. What were previously mountain tops became islands in the lake.
We waited among dozens of ships around the entrance to the canal and had priority since our ship had paid "extra" for the privilege. As we positioned ourselves to sail into the canal leading to the first lock, there was a beautiful view of Panama City. At a distance it appeared to be beautiful, large and modern.

We sailed underneath the bridge of the Americas, the entrance to the panama canal across which the pan american highway passes (running from alaska to the tip of south America.
There are a series of “locks” at each end of the canal into which a ship moves and is raised to the level of the next lock until they’re released into the lake to cross and begin the process descending at the other side. What I find amazing is that the mechanics of the whole thing are so simple. The huge gates are hollow and buoyant and open and close by the use of a simple 24 horse power motor. Because the gates don’t close flat, but rather in the shape of a “V” the pressure of the water in the lock further holds them shut. The Panamanian who gave us a blow by blow description as we progressed through the channel said that any one of the little old ladies on this ship could push them shut or open – they are so perfectly balanced.


The water to fill the locks is not driven by any sort of pump but by simple gravity feed from the artificial lake created up in the mountains. The water flows into each lock through 18 foot wide underground pipes at the rate of 3 million gallons a minute. They further increased the efficacy of this huge water flow by adding turbines that generate electricity making the whole operation totally self sufficient. Over 25,000 people lost their life during the construction due to disease and accidents. We Americans reduced our disease lost to nearly zero but blew ourselves up in record numbers with explosives (what else is new).
Each ship is guided through the locks by attaching metal cables to the front and rear of the ship and anchoring them to what appears to be small railroad engines – two on each side, both front and rear. They do an amazing job of keeping the ship from hitting the sides and damaging the hull. We had four foot clearance on each side, some of the larger ships have as little as a few inches on each side. Apparently, this is not only an efficient operation but a profitable one. They said that our ship paid over $250,000 to transit and we were relatively small. Many of the ships pay much more. The smallest fee was by a world famous swimmer who swam the canal and was charged 36 cents. I observed that they seem to run one ship through roughly every fifteen minutes. Probably over a million dollars an hour, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. That idiot Jimmy Carter handed it back over to the Panamanians. Another wonderful decision by a bleeding heart democrat!

Day one, January 30th, 2008
I’m dragging my body out of san Antonio to places where there is no email or phone to answer and where the sunlight may cause my translucent body to become brown (or at least a shade of red). I’m getting back into shape…. Starting tomorrow!
Today is our 37th wedding anniversary. I can’t believe how quickly time passes when you’re having fun. TODAY’s fun began by getting out of bed at 4:15 to dress for our trip to Costa Rica.
Everything went smoothly and as planned. One remarkable thing. As we were approaching the airport in San Jose, Lucy looked out her window and we were flying almost directly over their volcano. No one announced it, we just saw it. We’ve seen other volcanoes around the world. Notably, Moana Loa on the big island of Hawaii, and mount Vesuvius the volcano that destroyed Pompeii and looms over the Italian city of Naples, but this was different. It is exactly like a volcano a school kid would make for his project.
It was surrounded by relatively flat land and sticks straight up like a giant anthill. The top was smoking in a thin stream. If it had exploded right then we would have been catapulted into orbit, that’s how close we were.
We arrived in San Jose, Costa Rica by early afternoon. Lucy and I were the first ones off of the plane and after passing through customs I got in line to exchange some money into local currency. There were two lines. In the line next to me was a man who had several transactions that were taking some time. Immediately behind him was an American black man, loudly complaining about how long the guy in front of him was taking. One of the things he said was - he should never have changed lines – pretty much thinking out loud to share with anyone within hearing distance. My line was growing by the minute behind me and now was moving and his was stopped. This guy was fit to be tied and everyone was studiously ignoring him, including the individual in front of him at the other window (who I think was purposely slowing down his transactions in order to passively aggravate his critic). I was next in my line when one of the tellers came back from lunch and opened a SECOND window for my line. I was next! – I could see out of the corner of my eye that he had fallen to the floor and was writing in indignant pain over the injustice of it all (of course the language was brought down to the lowest denominator so all could understand – I don’t think the tellers understood, they were Spanish speakers with rudimentary English ability - luckily).
Meanwhile, Lucy was at the luggage carrel awaiting our bags – she had garnered a donkey to carry our three large bags and was feeding it a carrot. Just joking, it was a fairly modern airport, no donkeys in sight. They did however, have some strange procedures. In order to LEAVE the airport, you had to pass all of your luggage and carried items through an XRay machine. In the US, of course, they are more concerned with those getting ON the planes, not those getting off. So we lugged our bags onto the conveyer belt and watched the Costa Rican equivalent of the TSA sitting at the monitor with his feet up eating a sandwhich looking over his shoulder and ignoring the monitor. Strange but true.
We met a phalanx of taxi drivers as we exited the front of the airport and just as we emerged a van from our hotel pulled up. Smooth as silk.
The hotel was the Marriott and beautiful. Built like a large Spanish Hacienda around a center couryard. Spanish tile everywhere, and Golf course out the window. We settled in and started to get sleepy around 6pm (having had only a few hours sleep the night before). Just as we were beginning to mellow out, a salsa band cranked up loudly in the night club on the ground floor and the music reverberated throughout the entire hotel. This would have been aggravating if they had not been so GOOD. Because of the open construction of the hotel around the center courtyard, and the total absence of carpeting and other noise dampening construction, it was as though we were sitting in the club listening first hand, the music came through crisp and muted in volume slightly by our front door, but otherwise clear. We thoroughly enjoyed it, although around 10pm we began to wonder how long they intended to play on. They stopped shortly thereafter and we had a great nights sleep. ATMOSPHERE!Thursday January 31, 2008 (Marriott Hotel, San Jose, Costa Rica).
Cup of Tea, Cup of coffee. Okay we’re ready to go. Today we transfer to the ship, the Crystal Symphony docked at the port of Caldera, which is an hour and a half bus ride from here. Tell you how that turns out - later.
(later…..)
Things continue to go well for us (charmed life). We woke up this morning and I telephone down to the cruise rep - they had a desk in the lobby as this was the official transfer spot to the ship. They were organizing all of the passengers onto buses for the transfer. She told me that since we had not availed ourselves of the cruise’s hotel / transfer package we would leave at 1pm, the first buses left at 10 am. Before traveling, we opted to make the hotel and transfer reservations ourselves – when we contrasted the cost of allowing the cruise line to book the hotel and doing it directly ourselves with the hotel, we cut the cost in half and got a better room in the process – complete with private lounge and FREE food. Now, I discovered the downside to doing this was that we would be on the LAST bus to the ship arriving with the herd of Bermuda short clad octogenarians (look it up – if you have a mac there is a dictionary on the dock).
So I asked her if we could get on Standby for the earlier bus and what were my chances. She said, the buses are full, your chances are 90%. I said “what? 90% - language misconnect, she meant 90% that we wouldn’t get on. Reminded me of a line in the movie Dumb and Dumber. Jim carrie professes his love to the female character. She replies – “You have a one in a million chance of me ever going out with you!” To which he replied (overjoyed) “Incredible…..I have a CHANCE!”
We packed up, sent our luggage down and went down to the lobby. Large table - three ladies in uniform handing out tickets and checking people in. We went up to the table and as we were waiting I heard a couple of folks being told the same thing we had heard on the phone, sorry buses full. Step to the side for the important folks to get through.
We got to the front and suddenly we were alone, all of the others who had been in line or milling about were gone. I struck up a friendly conversation with one of the girls, told her I’d spoken to someone earlier, the girl who I spoke to was actually sitting right there. She volunteered (quietly and very conspiratorily) to see if she could find us a seat on the early bus. She got up and disappeared down the hallway. Came back with a big smile and two tickets for us on the first bus. As we were signing for the tickets I continued to hear more rejections going on around us. As I said, charmed life.
When we actually got on the bus (we were on the last of 3 leaving at 10am), it turned out it was only half full. They were just enforcing the “give us extra money for the privilege” policy.
The trip to the port of Caldera was on an air-conditioned bus. The road wound up into the mountains on a narrow two lane highway, then down the other side on an equally adventurous steep ride This thrilling trip included; passing in no passing zones, passing on curves and our tires coming within inches of deep drainage ditches on both sides of the road. We humans, however, don’t believe anything can ever happen to us (like crashing off a huge cliff and plunging, screaming like little girls, into the ravine). Nothing happened. We made it. The only remarkable thing that I experienced, (other than avoiding a gruesome death in a third world country, of course) was using the “facilities” aboard the bus. Call of nature midway on the mountain roads necessitated me being the only one on the bus to avail himself of the restroom that they had in the center of the bus. I stood up and walked to the stairs that descended down to the modern, clean restroom (think airline restroom). I couldn’t find a light switch, so I was esconsed in a pitch black room being buffeted in all directions as the bus made continuous hairpin turns. Luckily my pilot training came in handy and I didn’t fall in, fall off or get motion sickness. And to top if all off, I made it down the aisle of the bus (we were in the first seats) without landing in the lap of some little old lady – THAT was the hard part. I found out afterwards that if I had LOCKED the door, the light would have come on.
The ship is beautiful and populated with roughly only about 30% of the passengers aboard that you might find aboard a similar sized ship like on Holland America, I haven’t really seen what I would consider to be a “crowd” anywhere. We had heard the food was the best on this cruise line compared to allothers. Didn’t believe it, sounded like hype. We’ve had some pretty amazing food aboard ships in the past and to say one line is better than another ….. well, you know. We arrived around noon and the staterooms weren’t ready until after three so we had lunch (hamburgers and a steak sandwich). How good can a hamburger be? INCREDIBLE! I think they were grilling sirloin not hamburger, the steak was a REAL steak and it was melt in your mouth tender. Dinner was amazing too. They had balloons at our table for our anniversary and we ate fish for lucy and steak for me. Everything was incredible, not a single mediocre thing on the plate.
10 am February 1, 2008, aboard the Crystal Symphony, at sea abeam Central America, passing through the “golfo de Chiriqui”, position 07 degrees 45, 91N / 082 degrees 11, 26 W
Day at sea today, February first – which will allow us to explore the ship – flat sea with minimal rocking movement so the odds of getting seasick are low at the moment.
We arrive at the Panama Canal tomorrow morning at 7am, February 2nd. Lucy’s birthday AND the wedding day of our nephew Markie. We will be thinking of the newlyweds and celebrating another year of life for Lucy at the same time tomorrow.
6 am February 2, 2008, aboard the Crystal Symphony, Awaiting entry into the Panama Canal. Sitting amongst other ships awaiting the “pilot” to board the ship and guide us into the first Lock.
The meaning of life? It’s all about water pressure.
I awoke at 5am in anticipation of the alarm that I had set for six. The goal was to arrive at the air conditioned observation deck in time to garner a front row seat to view this event. I strolled into what I thought would be an empty room, and found that there were about twenty other couples already here. Only one remaining front row set of seats, which I procured, well off to the side – but still better than standing on tiptoes in the rear trying to see.
Water pressure….. Drives the panama canal AND is a pleasure in the shower. There are two places where I’m an extremely happy guy (shower-wise). Rita’s guest room - shower (Alexi’s bathroom) and the shower on this ship. Turn it on and the blast pins you to the wall. I have to figure some way to increase the water pressure at our home.

The Panama Canal is interesting – hence a major cruise ship destination. Yesterday, I watched a historical perspective on television. The engineering and construction of the canal was and is a marvel.
It began with the French who had constructed the Suez canal. They were rife with nationalism and flush with their success. They felt they could do anything at that particular time. Long story short, they gave up after ten or fifteen years of trying to dig through solid rock through an impenetrable jungle. The French left, much as they did in Vietnam. A few years later we picked up the project. Two of our physicians, Walter Reed and another approached it from a different perspective. Instead of macho forging ahead and dropping like flies due to malaria and yellow fever, the US discovered the cause of the epidemic and virtually eliminated it, allowing the work to proceed without the scary death toll. Additionally, American engineers developed a method whereby the project could be done much more efficiently.
The French wanted, like the Suez canal, to dig the Panama canal at sea level between the two coastlines. Unfortunately there are Jungle, huge mountains and raging rivers in between. At its worst they would have had to dig a trench six hundred feet deep and nearly 30 miles long into the mountains in solid rock to accomplish this. After many years, and innumerable losses due to accidents and disease, the company undertaking it for France went bankrupt.
What the American engineers did was to approach these problems with a little Yankee ingenuity. During the rainy season, the downpours were so heavy that they caused huge mud slides which would fill in the trenches that the French had dug. Whole mountainsides would collapse into the excavations on a routine basis. DeLesseps, the French engineer, compared it to digging a large whole on a sandy beach, the more you dug, the more the sand flows back into the hole.
We solved the problem of the rainy season where all of the rivers turn into torrential floods, by damming all river exits to the sea up and creating a huge lake high up in the mountains in the center of the isthmus. What were previously mountain tops became islands in the lake.
We waited among dozens of ships around the entrance to the canal and had priority since our ship had paid "extra" for the privilege. As we positioned ourselves to sail into the canal leading to the first lock, there was a beautiful view of Panama City. At a distance it appeared to be beautiful, large and modern.

We sailed underneath the bridge of the Americas, the entrance to the panama canal across which the pan american highway passes (running from alaska to the tip of south America.

There are a series of “locks” at each end of the canal into which a ship moves and is raised to the level of the next lock until they’re released into the lake to cross and begin the process descending at the other side. What I find amazing is that the mechanics of the whole thing are so simple. The huge gates are hollow and buoyant and open and close by the use of a simple 24 horse power motor. Because the gates don’t close flat, but rather in the shape of a “V” the pressure of the water in the lock further holds them shut. The Panamanian who gave us a blow by blow description as we progressed through the channel said that any one of the little old ladies on this ship could push them shut or open – they are so perfectly balanced.


The water to fill the locks is not driven by any sort of pump but by simple gravity feed from the artificial lake created up in the mountains. The water flows into each lock through 18 foot wide underground pipes at the rate of 3 million gallons a minute. They further increased the efficacy of this huge water flow by adding turbines that generate electricity making the whole operation totally self sufficient. Over 25,000 people lost their life during the construction due to disease and accidents. We Americans reduced our disease lost to nearly zero but blew ourselves up in record numbers with explosives (what else is new).
Each ship is guided through the locks by attaching metal cables to the front and rear of the ship and anchoring them to what appears to be small railroad engines – two on each side, both front and rear. They do an amazing job of keeping the ship from hitting the sides and damaging the hull. We had four foot clearance on each side, some of the larger ships have as little as a few inches on each side. Apparently, this is not only an efficient operation but a profitable one. They said that our ship paid over $250,000 to transit and we were relatively small. Many of the ships pay much more. The smallest fee was by a world famous swimmer who swam the canal and was charged 36 cents. I observed that they seem to run one ship through roughly every fifteen minutes. Probably over a million dollars an hour, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. That idiot Jimmy Carter handed it back over to the Panamanians. Another wonderful decision by a bleeding heart democrat!
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